Hana in Wonderland
by Sho Lover
Summary: [DenO][AU]Things are looking normal for Hana, until her fateful meeting with a person named Ryotaro. And what happens next, gets really pearshape with madness all around! [R & R please!]
1. Into the Rabbit Hole

_**Disclaimer: This is what you get if you blend Den-O, Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland with added madness and sugar inputted into my brain. I don't own them and they belong to their respective creators.**_

_**Chapter One: Into the Rabbit Hole**_

On the idyllic, yet somewhat boring fields of er…Tokyo, there lies a young woman named Hana, who is not probably asleep, as she was too busy punching at a random guy that wants to hit on her. Then suddenly, out of the blue, she saw a young man. Except that young man had rabbit ears as white as snow and he dressed, well normally. He did not stood up and his face was facing on the ground. Literally.

Hana, looked like she felt sorry for this unlucky rabbit guy, came up to him, helping him to sit up and before long, he got his conscious back.

"Oh, thank you very much, young miss." He said politely, until he realised he was missing something as he checked his pockets and started worry quickly. "ARGH! MY POCKETWATCH! Where is it?! Where is it?!"

"Eh?" Hana stared at him.

"Oh, have you seen my pocketwatch?! Oh, man! My luck is really bad when I lose it!"

"Excuse me, but what's your name?"

"Oh, er…my name's Ryotaro."

"Okay, Ryotaro. I'll find your pocketwatch."

"Really? Thank you very much!"

And with hours of searching, Hana found Ryotaro's pocketwatch (ironically, it was inside on one of his jeans pocket for some odd reason), the young man with unlimited horrendous amount of luck and bad karma looked at his pocket watch and was horrified that he was already late for his work.

"Oh no!" He bowed quickly to Hana and in his panicked state and rushed somewhere, leaving his last words on his way. "I'm sorry that I wasted your time, Hana-san, but I've got to go! I got this appointment that I have to go! I'm really sorry!"

As for Hana, however, she wondered why Ryotaro the bunny boy left is such a hurry, but because her curiosity gets the better or her, she decides that following him would not be such a bad idea after all.

* * *

Within an exhausting three hours of following that bunny boy, Hana had ended up in this ridiculously rabbit hole, which was for some silly reason that there were rumours inside the neighbourhood that a giant rabbit-look-a-like monster had landed in the middle of suburb Tokyo, digging a really great hole that was nearly fifty-thousand feet below of something, before being obliterated by some Superhero Sentai Whateveranger© or something. But enough about that, in order to make this long chapter short, Hana was pulled by strange forces, through a really-hard-to-see fishing line, with a funny-looking peach as a bait and then within a few seconds, she landed on a strange place, which looks more like a café based on her view, where she was greeted by this young woman giving her a cup of coffee(?), who dressed up as a maid that can be seen in many Cosplay cafes in Tokyo and the rest of Japan, though South Korea was a total failure when it opened one.

"I finally found you!" The young woman in a Cosplay maid dress smiled as she was giving this questionable cup of coffee to Hana. "You're my first ever customer – besides that old man - who has entered my café and also the Chosen One to save my kingdom!"

Hana, however, was still as confused as ever and asked her, "Er, excuse me, but who the hell are you; where am I and why I am the Chosen One to save your kingdom?"

"Oh, yeah! I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Naomi, Queen of the Kingdom of Café Caffeine and you're the Chosen One, because you discovered a place of where no human has actually stepped foot on this before!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!"

And thus, this is where the weirdness begins and sanity begins to decrease. Steadily as this fanfiction goes.

* * *

_Author's Note: Whee! Look at me! I'm breaking the convential fourth wall on the rules on writing fanfiction!_

_Momotaros: Oh crap! The author's on sugar again! Hey, bear boy! Do something!_

_Kintaros: Zzz…_

_Momotaros: Oh, fine! I'll just do the author's note that was written ages ago, before smelly flower woman went insane. Let's see…_

"_Thanks for reading this fanfiction. Man! I haven't even written a fanfiction, since, well ages ago. The fact that I haven't written fanfiction for a long time was due to exams, coursework and of course, putting lots of fanart on my dA site. University work doesn't count, though I'm not pretty sure why. And then there are some personal matters, but that's another subject I'm not going to talk about._

_So what's my main inspiration behind this fanfiction? Well, I was sort of new to this Tokusatsu genre and then I watched Kamen Rider Den-O (which I'm still watching, even now). Because of Den-O's storyline, characters and of course, the writing itself, I wrote this fanfiction to spread my love for this series more than Kabuto (I wish Sephiroth would just pop out of nowhere and stabbed Tendou in the back for being the rudest main character in the world and even Yuri Hyuga wouldn't have that attitude, even though he's more of an anti-hero in the first two Shadow Hearts games)._

_Well, this chapter is just the beginning, so make sure not to miss out on Hana's further 'mis'-adventures on the next few chapters, otherwise you'll be crying to…"_

_Oh crap!_

_Kintaros: Did someone say 'cry'?_

_A.N.: Sorry about that. Now any review and comment would be fine, but I don't want to hear those flames or those hardcore ones, where someone says that Kabuto is better than Den-O or something. It's like comparing Final Fantasy VII and VIII all over again!_


	2. The Quest for the Cup of the Holy Coffee

_**N.B. From this point on, I don't own anything to do with Square Enix. What? You think Toku and Final Fantasy (and maybe Kingdom Hearts) don't mix well together?**_

_**Chapter 2: The Quest for the Cup of the Holy Coffee©**_

"Your Majesty," Hana remarked as she got used to the weirdness in another world, though at the same time, trying to avoid the question of how the hell she ended from outside the café-looking palace with a giant dug hole next to the tables for some odd reason, to the throne, which turned out to be another clone of a typical café again, only it was decorated royally. "I don't know why did we switched from THERE to HERE from one last chapter to the next, but why do you choose me as the Chosen One?"

Unfortunately, Queen Naomi was not paying attention to Hana's question; as she was too busy giving out coffee to customers who were curious on what was inside this unexpected Palace/Café.

"Here you go." The Queen Waitress cheerfully said.

"HEY! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"

"Whoops! Sorry! I was giving out free coffee to my customers." ("Eurgh! Is this even coffee?!" exclaimed one of the customer's voices)

_Maybe you should quit your day job as a Queen. _Hana thought.

"Well, anyway, to answer your question, you're the first person who fell down to my lovely café and automatically assume that you're the Chosen One! And now, I'll give you a QUEST!"

"What? That fast? That's the only explanation you can give me? Well, I'll say it's bull…"

"And your quest is…to find the **CUP OF THE HOLY COFFEE©**!"

"Excuse me? And why in ridiculously bold and underline font? And what's the deal with the copyright logo next to the…?"

"The **Cup of the Holy Coffee©** have a very powerful magical source that can only protect my Kingdom of Café Caffeine from my dreaded enemy…the TEA KING FROM THE KINGDOM OF CAFÉ MIDGAR LEAF!"

"Come aga…"

"But don't worry! I've sent some allies to help you on your quest to find the **Cup of the Holy Coffee©** and defeat the Tea King from the Kingdom of Café Midgar Leaf, though I forgot where they are now and there's supposed to be eight, including my loyal subject. Or is it nine? So, any questions?"

Because of Naomi's speech that Hana could not have make to interrupt Her Majesty's talk, she left speechless and was given no choice, but to help her. "Uh, no."

"Good! Ryotaro, my loyal subject! Accompany Miss Hana and protect her with all your might!"

* * *

_Several seconds outside the Castle and into the Fields of Mordo…er, I mean Generic Green Land._

"Out of all the people that I find almost of the population totally crazy," Hana grumbled as she walked alongside Ryotaro, who was constantly stepped on some animal poop "you must be the only sane person that I can talk to normally. Except for your luck and this really bad karma I've sensed."

"Uh, that's okay." The young bunny-eared man sincerely replied with his gentle smile "I got used to the bad karma and luck that I have, like at that one time, where I got trampled and miraculously survived by a couple of those Otaku men that you see in Akihabara taking photos of Her Majesty and another time where I got chased by some group called the 'CloudxSeprioth Yaoi Appreciation Society' after I mistakenly sent Her Majesty's rather very impulsive and negative review on one of their fanfictions under my name and then the next day, those girls attempting to kill me with their pitchforks and chainsaws."

_What the?! _Hana thought as she was surprised to see Ryotaro's very dark side. _Even the fandom got him as well? Man, everything is bad luck to him!_

"By the way, Ryotaro," Hana started.

"Yes, Hana-san?"

"Where are we going?"

"Er…I haven't thought about that."

"You mean…you don't have a plan on finding your allies at all?"

The duet was miserable that they did not prepare any plan, until in front of them, a cute, but unusually purple cat appeared Ryotaro picked it as he thought that kitty was cute, but that was just where this one occurs and a voice, mostly a young teenage kid, can be heard screaming to someone.

"CHESHIRE! THERE YOU ARE! I FINALLY FOUND YOU!"

"Oh no," Hana mumbled.

Luckily for her (and unluckily for Ryotaro), that voice belonging to someone bumped straight into the young man and finally caught the purple cat.

"I finally caught you naughty, but really cute kitty. Nya, nya!" He cheerfully said as he began to play with his pet, though he looked human and dressed like a typical teenage boy in Shibuya, on closer inspection, he has a pair of purple horns on his head, which his cap had nearly hidden those, another pair just behind his ears, his light purple tied hair behind his head and to top it all off, has a similar hairstyle to Ryotaro, only with a purple streak on the left hand side of his head and a pair of purple eyes on his face.

"Er, who are you exactly?" Hana asked with some confusion thrown, but the boy would not listen to her.

"I'll handle it." Ryotaro sighed as he was finally straightening himself up after an unlucky bump. "Ryuuta-chan, if you don't listen to this nice young lady, then it's no coffee for nee-san."

"…!!!" He looked towards Hana, which she thought that he must be really quick when Ryotaro mentioned the word 'nee-san'. "Hello! I'm Ryutaros and this is my pet kitty-chan, Cheshire!"

"Er, hi. I'm Hana." She could feel the now-famous anime sweatdrop behind her back of her head as she wondered how old Ryutaros is, despite he looks somehow similar to Ryotaro.

"Hey, you wanna play with me and Cheshire-chan?"

"Er…"

"Not right now, Ryuuta-chan. Hana-san and I are going on a secret mission, ordered from Queen Naomi-chan."

"Oh." And then a few seconds later…

…INTERMISSION TIME!

Getting tired of those Yaoi Fangirls trying to ruin your life as you make some fanart or fanfiction in a normal way? Then phone Momotaros's Yaoi Pest Control and he will get rid of them as he's starting on a climax or double your money back!

Phone 321-MOMOTAROS and he…will arrive on time!

(Warning: Do not phone Momotaros' Yaoi Pest Control if it involves Imagin and/or Ryotaro-possessed-appearance Yaoi Fangirls.)

…Now back to the Fanfiction!

"…Can I come too?"

"Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax." Hana sadistically remarked.

* * *

And so, Hana, Ryotaro and their new companion Ryutaros…

"Don't forget Cheshire-chan!" Ryutaros interrupted.

"Nya." Cheshire purred as he was lying on the young dragon boy's head.

…fine. And Cheshire went on a journey to find the legendary **Cup of the Holy Coffee©**, but little to them, a danger lurks ahead as they are being watched! And as we fast forward to the dark place with some evil stuff that was bought on EBought, a mysterious, but somehow very familiar person who watching our main protagonists, via Schony's Evil HD Crystal Ball from the Wickeda range, now with Digital Freeview, so that he can watch Final Fantasy VII Advent Children over on Film 4.

"Soon, Chosen One," He snarled with a cracked smile "you will fail by the hands of the…

THE TEA KING!!!"

And not before long, a bolt of lightning appeared behind and did his evil laugh that lasted for one minute, until his throat was dry and coughed rather quickly.

"Oh damn." He coughed "I knew I should have taken a bottle of Grandma Yagurama's Hell Cough Medicine, before doing that evil laugh. Oh man…" And then he looked at the Evil Cuckoo Clock in the shape of Purgatory. "Oh crap! I'm going to miss the first few minutes of Advent Children...no, wait. That's just the ending credits to Princess Mono…oh, crap! I wanted to watch that!"

* * *

_Author's Note: Oh, look! Suspense! Yay! Ryutaros! Let's celebrate!_

_Ryutaros: OK!_

_Momotaros: Great. Just great. That author's on sugar intake overload again. Well, at least she wrote down the note, before going crazy with that dragon brat. (Ahem) Here we go…_

"_Wow. Now I know why I love writing crazy fanfiction when I'm on high, even my fanfiction is recognised in Final Aura Burst via LiveJournal (Just what the hell is LiveJournal? Another rip-off of that MySpace site or something?)!"_

_(Urataros: Sempai, MySpace and LiveJournal are two complete sites and only famous people and musicians use MySpace. Geez, no wonder you don't live in the same world as Ryuuta-chan._

_Momotaros: Oh, shut up, kame-yaro! You use both of these sites, just to bring in some random girls from all over the world! Or should I say, Sexy-dash-Turtle-dash-san?_

_Urataros: Hey! That was private!)_

_Momotaros: Now, where was I? Oh yes…_

"_So, what was my inspiration on Hana in Wonderland? Surprisingly enough, it's from one fanfiction that I laughed so much and it's from the author who has the same favourite Final Fantasy pairing as I have: ArcBus's 'Undying Pie' series. It had the attitude of breaking the rules of a typical person's fanfiction, plus it has one of my favourite pairings and yes, I am an AeriSeph fan; you've got a problem with that?"_

_What the…? Who the hell is AeriSeph? Stinky Flower Woman's secret Imagin that has been hiding us for ages?_

_Urataros: (sigh) Sempai, you haven't been to the Final Fantasy VII section, haven't you? Well anyway, I'll take your place and finish this Note from this wonderful lady. Now, swim along now._

"_From the bottom of my heart, to the top of the wave of the seas, thank you for reading this fanfiction. As you may have notice, if you want this author to continue catching her school of fish, then I suggest you should press the 'Submit Review' button and send me your email adres…"_

_Momotaros: All right! That's enough for now, you perverted turtle! Well, anyway, if you want to read more of Stinky Flower Woman's adventures, then hit the 'Submit Review' button now! Oh, and if you give me some flames and reviews of "DIE, YOU YAOI-HATING BITCH" or something, I'll come over to your room and give you the taste of my Hissatsu Waza!_

* * *

_**EXTRA! The Miura & Ozaki Show! #1**_

**Ozaki: **Domo! I'm Ozaki!

**Miura:** And I am Miura. Very pleased to meet to you.

**Ozaki: **And welcome to our first episode of…

**Ozaki + Miura:** The Miura and Ozaki show!

**Ozaki: **If you want to send in your questions regarding anything to do with Kamen Rider Den-O or anything, then drop us a call and my, we got some of them already. Let's see the first question.

_#1: "Dear Miura-kun, is it true that you're really a Super Counsellor? Where's your proof?"_

_From SoraseesGhosts23_

**Miura:** Uh, well…hmm, after high school, I went into a very good reputable university somewhere in Japan, where I studied Paramonal and Paranoid Studies and then I got a two:one degree and…hey, Ozaki! Stop snickering!

**Ozaki:** I'm sorry, but you went into a crappy university that was just for freaks who love ghosts and other things so spooky! All right, onto the next question!

**Miura:** But I haven't even finish my…

_#2: "Dear Ozaki-san, what's the deal with your face? I felt much freaked out every time you go surprised at every event!"_

_From Sweatdropfall4ever_

**Ozaki:** To answer your question, it's genetic inherited from the male side of my family. My father suffered from that, along with my uncle, my grandfather and even my male ancestors from two hundred years ago!

**Miura:** What the…? You can remember even from two hundred years ago!?

**Ozaki: **Yep, you see. It's genetic and there's no cure to that problem. Right onto the next question!

_#3: "Dear Ozaki-san: WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR REPORT?! IF YOU DON'T HAND IT IN BY THE DEADLINE, THEN I'M GOING TO SLASH YOUR SALARY BY HALF!"_

_From your editor._

**Ozaki:** OH CRAP! I FORGOT TO DO THAT! ARGH! WHERE IS IT?!

**Miura:** Uh, well I think it's time to wrap things up. And remember, if you want some answers from us; be sure to press the 'Submit Review' button and the three best questions gets into our next episode. Well, ja ne.

**Ozaki:** HEY! MIURA-KUN! HELP ME FIND MY REPORT!

**Miura:** Where did you last put it?

**Ozaki:** I don't know! Hey, you're a Super Counsellor, go through my head and see my mind!

**Miura:** Hey, wait a minute! I don't have psychic powers!


	3. Enter the Swan Prince!

_**Chapter 3: Enter the Prince Swan! Bruce Lee Sound Not Included**_

"Mou…" Ryutaros moaned, as the quartet (that includes the dragon boy's pet cat, Cheshire if you are one of the people who skipped the last chapter, only to find out that your brain is not working) walked in the middle of a very big Generic Green Land and it lasted around five hours, until suddenly…

"Aaah!" The young dragon boy jolted up and down, pointing towards the pagoda, which the location is pretty much unknown for that reason and the description being very familiar to one Chinese martial arts movie. "This is where Mr. Birdie lives! Can we go visit him?"

"Excuse me?" Hana questioned, without the knowledge as to why Ryuuta-chan was pretty excited, until Ryotaro whispered to her.

"Ryuuta-chan is talking about the person who lives in this pagoda, which I don't know how or where did get here. He's called Sieg."

"Er, who's Sieg exactly?"

"Well, he's a little weird when it comes to respect."

_Great, so I'm getting another weirdo into our party? _Hana thought as another imaginary sweatdrop appeared behind her back. And so, our heroes go to Sieg's Pagoda home or whatever that is, but little do they realise, something sinister is about to happen…

* * *

_Stage 1…GO!_

With corny Martial Arts music kick in, Hana and her companions arrive to meet their first match, except this opponent…

…looks very similar with that long sword of his.

"So, you must be one of my opponents." His sexy voice said as the wind blew the silver strands of his hair.

"And who the hell are you?" Hana asked with disgust on her face.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?!" And within a few seconds, the mysterious person with the long silver hair jumped out from the shadows and this eerily orchestra played with the choir. "I am known as the One Winged Angel! SEPHIROTH! EVERY FAN GIRL AND FAN BOY'S FAVOURITE VILLAIN!"

"Sorry mate, but I've never heard of you. You're in a Kamen Rider fanfiction thread. I doubt if anyone knows you if you're from a video game."

"What?! You mean I got stuck in here for nothing!?"

Silence began, followed by tumbleweed and finally after twenty minutes of doing absolutely nothing, Sephiroth finally announced…

"Oh sod this! I'm going to kill you with my Masamune anyway, after I stabbed that Tendou-slash-horrible-insect-guy-in-suit-man on my way here! Starting with you!"

"Eh? Me?" Ryotaro startled, until Ryutaros managed to push the poor boy out.

"Your opponent is me, okay?" The young dragon boy asked as he was pointing to the One Winged Angel.

"Excu…"

"Can't hear you!"

And when he pulled out his weapon, the Ryuvolver, he began shooting all of the One Winged Angel's orchestra members and eventually replaced with some dude, his DJ set and a copy of Double Action Gun Form played on this ridiculously huge ghetto blaster with impossibly large speakers that can be seen in music festivals.

"Oh no, cover your ears Hana-san!" Ryotaro called as he covered his bunny ears. Hana was confused on what was happening, but nevertheless, she covered her ears, as Ryutaros inserted the CD into the slot and press the play button. As for the result…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"OH GOD NO! NOT THAT REALLY CATCHY ENDING THEME TO THIS YEAR'S SHOW! NOOOOOOOOO! THAT'S MY ONE WEAKNESS! ALONG WITH CLIMAX JUMP AND ITS HIP HOP VERSION!"

"Heehee! At least it's better than Axe Form, Rod Form and Sword Form put together!"

And with Sephiroth's torment to listen Gun Form for all his eternity, followed by 'Climax Jump' in repeat mode, Hana, Ryotaro, Ryutaros and Cheshire made it safely to level two.

"By the way, Ryuuta-chan," Hana asked to Ryutaros "How did you know that's his weakness?"

"I met this guy with the black spiky hair and I gave him that Perfect Action Double Action Collection Album. Don't know what happened next."

* * *

_Stage 2…GO!_

So who is this next opponent that Hana and the gang faced?

"Hello! I'm Smart Lady!" The scary woman in a tight PVC dress smiled creepily.

"Yumi-san, is that you?" Ryotaro asked gently.

"NO! I'm just Smart Lady! Yumi has got nothing to do with me!"

"Then why is your boyfriend here?"

"…SHUT UP! I'm just going to skip this longwinded introduction and kill all of you!"

However, that ended pretty quickly, as Hana punched Smart Brain's mascot out of the Pagoda and entered level three without any problems.

"HEY! WHY DO I GET LESS SCREEN TIME THAN THAT…"

DING!

* * *

_Stage 3…GO!_

"Please God, I don't wanna fight another weirdo," Hana mumbled, as the gang entered the next stage. And guess which opponent is that…?

"Kweh!"

"What the hell!?" Hana exclaimed as she looked at this strange giant chick. "Is this really our opponent?! I think someone's been messing with this fanfiction for some time now."

"YAY!" Ryutaros jumped for joy as he saw this "I finally see a Chocobo in real life!"

"Kweh?"

"Um, why is it looking at you, Ryotaro?"

"I don…ARGH!" Within a few seconds, the Chocobo jumped onto Ryotaro to the floor, rendering stuck, while Ryutaros came close and stroke its lovely golden yellow feathers.

"Aaaw! You're so cute!" Ryutaros smiled, while Hana was clueless what the heck was going on, until…a generic-looking person came in. He announced that the opponent that they were supposed to be fighting had to take leave, due to personal matter, so there was much rejoice and the gang arrived at level four.

"Hey! What happened to the action?!" Hana exclaimed to the person typing this fanfiction.

"Uh, Hana-san, who are talking to?" Ryotaro asked.

* * *

_Stage 4…GO!_

Hana and the gang arrived at the level, only to meet this familiar woman.

"Are you the ones responsible for hurting Sephiroth?" She asked gently.

"Yeah." Hana replied back "And just who are you exactly?"

"I'm Aerith Gainsborough…" And suddenly "…AND YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY BOYFRIEND!" Yes, Aerith snapped, which her aura glowed more fiercely than Sephiroth's Supernova attack.

"Huh? I didn't know that silver haired guy's your boyfriend."

"YOU BITCH! YOU'LL GONNA DIE BY MY HANDS!"

"Er, actually Ryuuta-chan just put some music into…"

"Uh, Hana-san, I don't think she's listening to you."

"Fine. There's only one thing to do…" Hana's rage glowed so brightly, that everyone else had to wear sunglasses and the greatest battle began, when Aerith and Hana battle it out to see who is…huh, what's this?

_**Dear Sho Lover,**_

_**Due to budget cuts, we won't be able to show the action scenes on Hana vs. Aerith. Instead, we are showing this on your behalf. Don't blame us…this is meant for children and not half-assed adults.**_

_**The Mini Adventures of Airi Nogami**_

_One day, Airi was brewing coffee to customers, mostly male in her café. She smiled and everyone else was smiling at her. The End_

"WOW!" Ryutaros jumped up and down as he exclaimed to Ryotaro "That's the best female battle I've ever seen!"

"Yeah and not only that," Ryotaro remarked as he looked to the environment "they literally destroyed the whole stage. Except for the stairs leading up to the last stage."

And Ryotaro was right. Nearly every place was destroyed by the climatic battle between the two women. Hana managed to win this round, despite getting injuries and as for Aerith herself, let's just say her aura was so powerful, Hana's powerful rage made a cancellation to each other, causing the stage to be nearly obliterated, though leaving Ryotaro, Ryutaros and Cheshire intact for some odd reason and took Aerith somewhere.

"Well, anyway," Hana continued as she cracked her fingers "we should get a move on. We're wasting really valuable time!"

* * *

_**Last Stage…GO!**_

As soon as Hana's party arrived at the last stage, in the middle of a spotlight…

"Wait a minute!" Hana exclaimed towards the 'un-viewable' narrator "Why didn't you tell us that stage was dark?! You're giving the reader too little detail!"

"Hana-chan, what are you looking at?" Ryutaros questioned her.

"Uh, nothing."

Right, where was I? Ah, yes. In the middle of a spotlight, was Sieg, though really looking familiar to Ryotaro's face, he has a different hairstyle and has a pair of little white wings behind his royally (mainly white) decorated costume. Oh, he was chained (on rope) and gagged to the chair by the way. As the party drew closer to free the 'Swan Prince', someone got in their way as a rubber chicken threw right at them, as Ryutaros (and his pet cat, Cheshire) and Hana managed to avoid the target, but rendered Ryotaro to the floor and knocked him unconscious.

"Oh. So you must be the fools rescuing that Haughty Prince." The mysterious person laughed evilly as he was about to come out of the shadow.

"And just come out of the shadow quickly. I don't have time for long-winded introductions."

"Why you…" And in one second flat, he appeared! Only this time, his looks are awfully familiar, except that he is actually a 'she'. And she also pulled out some deadly needles. "…I'LL TEACH YOU HOW NOT TO TELL PEOPLE ON LONGWINDED INTRODUCTION!"

"…Er…hate to ask, but who are you?" Hana questioned with her eyes wide open, followed by Ryotaro, who managed to get up and followed the same expression in a matter of seconds.

"She looks more horrible than Onee-chan." Ryutaros simply answered as he stared too.

"Meow." Cheshire…uh purred.

"WHAT?! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM!?"

"Well, no in actual fact." Hana replied as she was disgusted on her attitude. "It was the same with the weirdo carrying an impossibly-heavy sword."

"GRR. I am LARXENE!"

"Lacks-seen?"

"Laugh-seed?" Ryotaro answered, though he tried his best not to laugh.

"Lassie?" Ryutaros quickly answered with a smile on his face.

"FOR NOBODY'S SAKE, IT'S LARXENE! LAR-XENE!"

"Well, I'm so sorry. But I happened to be Japanese and I have a hard time pronouncing your name!"

"…"

"…"

"Mmmph Mmmph Mmmph Mmmph Mmmph Mmmph Mmmph!" Behind the gag, translated from Sieg "Isn't anyone going to get me out!?"

"OH SHUT UP!" Both Larxene and Hana scolded at the Swan Prince.

"Sod this! Let's fight!" Larxene readied herself into position.

"Bring it on!" Hana cracked her fists and the two young women proceeded to battle.

* * *

_**Twenty exhausted minutes of name calling, random Final Fantasy battle themes, Double Actions, an odd remix of One Winged Angel and a really longwinded generic love ballad later…**_

"…Oooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww!!!" Larxene mumbled as she was beaten to a pulp by Hana's special attack: Hana Punch!

"That'll teach you on how to mess with girls with no magical powers!" Hana proudly smirked as she stepped on the now defeated poor woman.

"What's really amazing is that Hana-san managed to dodge Lard-miss-san's needles and magic attacks." Ryotaro remarked as he looked at the amazement of the young woman's strength.

"Yeah." Ryutaros added.

"Well, anyway, let's just untie that person you called Sieg and get this mess out of here."

And within a few moments, they untie the chains that Sieg was bound and removed the gag from his mouth.

"Ah, I thank you for releasing me from those despicable hostile people." The Swan Prince remarked as his gentle posture went closer to Hana. Funnily enough, he knelt down to her as he took her hand like a soft feather, while Ryotaro, Ryutaros and Cheshire stared at what the hell is happening. "As a token of my appreciation, I will do anything to assist you."

"Er…well…" Hana blushed, not knowing what Sieg was saying, but nevertheless. "…you could join us and…"

"Ah, yes. As a knight, I will join your merry band with your humble servants…"

"Servants?!" Both Ryotaro and Ryutaros exclaimed.

"…and protect you from harmful danger. Princess." He was about to kiss Hana's hand, when suddenly…

WHACK!

"You can join my party, IF you stop calling me PRINCESS!" Hana frustratingly exclaimed as she clouted the Swan Prince to the floor.

* * *

_**Meanwhile at the dark, dingy room somewhere in the middle of the Kingdom of Café Midgar Leaf…**_

"Blast you, woman!" Snarled the Tea King as he looked at his HD Crystal Ball "Not only did you defeat five of my subordinates, but you also ruin my plan! I'll get you next time! NEXT TIME!"

Then a knock came in and a generic guardsman soon followed.

"Your Majesty…" He boringly said "…your book, 'The Idiot's Guide to World Domination and Extermination by Reiji Nogi' that you ordered from Kamazon has just arrived. Should I…?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just put it on my desk."

* * *

_Author's Note: …_

_Momotaros: Oh, great. Smelly flower woman's gone off somewhere. Oh well, better get that note she left. Ahem_

"_Hi, how's it been? Gee, this must have been the world's first Kamen Rider Den-O/Square Enix crossover chapter that I've ever done! Maybe in the world! And no reviews and comments?! You're going to make me…" Erm, now how should I say this…"shed some fluids on my eyelids. So you people are going to ask "Why on Earth would there be the Square Enix characters doing in a Den-O fanfiction? Well, the answer should be simple: I'm a Final Fantasy VII fan. And before you ask about Aerith having Sephiroth as her boyfriend; I AM AN AERISEPH FAN! You can shove those Cleris or Clorith comments somewhere else, I hate getting flamers. Also, this latest chapter took me a while, as I had troubles finding five characters that Hana can challenge, no matter how weird. Sephiroth and Aerith were easy, Smart Lady from Kamen Rider 555 was a bit of a spur moment; not sure why I put her in there; the Chocobo was also a spur moment and at one point, I thought of putting Demyx from Kingdom Hearts II in the last stage, but I thought I should put at least another cat fight to make it even funnier (and the only woman I could think of is Larxene from KH: Chain of Memories, which funnily enough, is the only woman in the entire Organization XIII group that Hana could face as her opponent) or just please the fans."_

_Urataros: Cat fight? Aaaw. I just missed the best part!_

_Ryutaros: NOOOOOOOOO! It's not true! It's not true!_

_Momotaros: Hey! Shut up you two! I'm trying to read for the readers!_

"_Anyway, please review and make a nice comment. It's really lonely! I never have a single one, since that last Alex Rider Yaoi fanfiction that I made! P.S. I admit that I hate Kabuto. That's why I made Sephiroth stabbed Tendou with Masamune as my way of saying that I hate men who are either rude, extra-arrogant or just plain emo. P.S.S. If you're wondering what on earth Ryutaros was talking about in the first stage, if you go to Wikipedia and type Kenichi Suzumura, look for Zack Fair and Ryutaros and you'll see what I mean."_

* * *

_**EXTRA! The Miura and Ozaki Show! #2**_

**Ozaki: **Domo! I'm Ozaki!

**Miura: **sigh And I'm Miura!

**Ozaki:** And welcome to…

**Ozaki + Miura:** …THE MIURA AND OZAKI SHOW!

**Ozaki:** And…hey, what happened to the questions?!

**Miura:** It seems that no one would just come to our show and somehow just bringing questions to us. And what's worse is that the fan-created Kamen Rider fanfiction received more reviews than this. Even some guy named Igidevil or something has got some recognition on his Sig(BEEP) one!

**Ozaki:** You mean that we've been cast aside and we're not getting questions?!

**Miura:** Sorta like that.

**Ozaki:** NOOOOOOOOOOOO! There's only one thing to do on our last resort…

**Miura:** Which is…?

**Ozaki:** …DELETE THE WHOLE STORY AND MOVE IT RIGHT INTO LIVEJOURNAL!

**Miura:** WHAT?! Are you crazy?! Only the author can do this!

**Ozaki:** I don't care! I have her email address and password! So unless people give us questions by submitting theirs in the Submit Review button, I'm seriously going to delete it out of existence! I'M WARNING YOU! _Laughs insanely_

**Miura:** AAAAARGH! IT'S LIKE OZAKI-SAN'S BEEN POSSESSED BY EVIL SPIRITS, JUST LIKE RYOTARO-KUN!


End file.
